I’m pretty new to the self hosting thing but I’m enjoying it a lot and want to go a bit further down the proverbial rabbit hole.

I’m looking at a bunch of services and they all require a DB, usually a MySQL DB. It seems counterintutitive to have 20 MySQL databases each in its own Docker container. So is there a way to have one DB across most of my services? (I realize that Nextcloud and other bigger items should have a dedicted DB.)

How would I set up a shared DB in a docker-compose file?

You could set up a docker with an exposed port for connections to the MySQL database server and run 20 databases inside it, that will come with its own risks fyi. You may have MySQL version mismatches to start with, you may have concurrent connections trying to use the same internal port, you may have a number of different situations where reads or writes take a much longer time due to other services wanting data.

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