I’d expected this but it still sucks.

I assume what you’re looking for specifically here is a complete platform that you can install on bare-metal, not just the actual hypervisor itself. In which case consider any of these:

  • Proxmox
  • XCP-NG
  • Windows Hyper-V Server Core (basically Windows Server Nano with Hyper-V)
  • Any Linux distro running KVM/QEMU - Add Cockpit if you need a web interface, or use Virt-Manager, either directly or over X-forwarding
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Any Linux distro running KVM/QEMU - Add Cockpit if you need a web interface, or use Virt-Manager, either directly or over X-forwarding

No need for X forwarding, you can connect Virt-Manager to a remote system that has libvirt,

This is true, but not everyone gets to use a linux system as their main desktop at work. I’m not aware of a windows version of virt-manager, but if that exists it would be fucking rad.

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