One of the worst words in the English language is “intermittent.”

C is dangerous like your uncle who drinks and smokes. Y’wanna make a weedwhacker-powered skateboard? Bitchin’! Nail that fucker on there good, she’ll be right. Get a bunch of C folks together and they’ll avoid all the stupid easy ways to kill somebody, in service to building something properly dangerous. They’ll raise the stakes from “accident” to “disaster.” Whether or not it works, it’s gonna blow people away.

C++ is dangerous like a quiet librarian who knows exactly which forbidden tomes you’re looking for. He and his… associates… will gladly share all the dark magic you know how to ask about. They’ll assure you, oh no no no, the power cosmic would never turn someone inside-out, without sufficient warning. They don’t question why a loving god would allow the powers you crave. They will show you which runes to carve, and then, they will hand you the knife.

Exclusivity is a failure mode for copyright. Mandatory licensing should’ve been the immediate goal as soon as Netflix started losing content. Blatantly awful for consumers - and we’re talking about giving companies money. If you sell a thing and find yourself going ‘well I don’t want to sell it that way’ then it’s probably because you have anti-competitive schemes in mind. We can’t tolerate that shit.

I can do whatever I want with my copy.

Copyright is about distribution.

I can and have, and it’s still a tremendous pain in the ass to launder the addresses for labels. The hottest loop in the game draws an arbitrary span of the same tile. It should be trivial to do a jump table - to grab an address from an array and go there. 13 tiles? goto jump[13]. (Or really some stack / return shenanigans, because the 6502 is odd.) But if there’s any way to get cc65 to shove the location of an instruction into an array, I haven’t found it.

they are used to program machines

Which HTML cannot do, because if it could, that would be called a program. That’s what the word means.

HTML makes documents. It’s a markup language. It’s not even Turing-complete accidentally.

I’m writing an NES game in C and struggling with some nonsense that’d be trivial in ASM, so I’m recently inclined to say yes.

‘This markup language isn’t even as capable as Habbo Hotel, but it counts anyway because I just called it a programming language.’

There is a literal hierarchy of syntaxes which are recognized by different categories of machine. Programs require a Turing machine. Anything lesser - in a subset like pushdown automata or finite-state machines - doesn’t need a proper computer. So it’s not a program.

You can’t write a program in HTML.

End of discussion.

“We clogged the streets indefinitely and made everyone miserable, but we were gonna leave as soon as police arrived to enact consequences! This is entrapment!”

But they claim they do, and always did, so long as you don’t ask follow-up questions.

I don’t care if the robot that speaks English read the entire library.

How else was it going to happen?

See Flash websites ripping each other off for five years on either side of Youtube’s introduction.

See Bittorrent moving more video than Netflix until like 2012.

See twenty years of web-based P2P experiments. Weirdos with fat hard drives (hi) will always be happy to seed.

Or - crazy thought - services could cost money. It would not take much. Youtube’s not getting ten bucks each time you watch a video. Bandwidth and storage keep getting cheaper. Nor are they paying for content, unlike Netflix and so on, and those fuckers are also considering ads.

Advertising is poison.

We could just ban it.

Ideally, nobody should have to work.

The problem is that labor-saving technology is never permitted to save labor. We make those displaced laborers go do other shit.

Deleted by GCP.

It’s a terrible introduction. Should’ve been half-and-half Michael Cera and Jesse Eisenberg.

Navigate to Strong Bad’s e-mail [Verify]

The autocomplete for the second one gets vicious.

… wait, was this in Canada? I thought you guys had prices-as-marked instead of applying tax at the register.

Idiot with audience attempts burglary in foreign country. Films it.

It’s a bold move.

That’s adorable. Video you can maybe fight. Megabytes of JPGs? It is to laugh.

Never give Nintendo money.

You can’t retain extra rights by slapping “NO COPYRIGHT INTENDED” on your own comments.

1990s: “Holy shit, we have to do something about population growth!”

2020s: “Holy shit, we have to do something about population shrink!”

The Wimp Lo doctrine is a valid theory for why JS is Like That.

If there’s two ways to do something, JS picks all three.

… blocks access at India’s request.

I mean possibly the other thing, too, but presumably CBC does not vouch for that at this time.

Arguments on first line will not compile unless using precise alignment to function name

UGH!

Just-- yech!

Yeah who ever questions established practices in programming. Nobody ever argues about style.

Stop lining up to function names like it’s fucking ASCII art!

It’s a hierarchy, not a grid! Did your function overflow one line? Add an extra tab. I don’t give a shit how long your function name is, you prima donna, your code should look clean even if some maniac is using 12-point Arial.

So it turned out I had ADHD.

Genuine LOL. Yeah… yeah, that’s Perl in a nutshell. Creating Perl: ‘why aren’t all languages like this?!’ Editing Perl: ‘oh.’

IIRC also relying on how floating-point is basically scientific notation and the most-significant bits are the exponent.

And most importantly, relying on how a sloppy answer works just fine. The most important skill in game development is cheating.

Why the fuck does anyone use spaces when tabs mean everyone uses the same tab size as you? That’s what they’re for!

Does “like you’re supposed to” mean with tabs, or with spaces?

Because if someone else disagrees you are not going to have fun with their code.

JS is ironic punishment as a programming language. It’s fun to screw around in! And then you have to use it for stuff, and pain ensues.

I can’t get over the load-bearing whitespace.

But you repeat yourself.

Why must you hurt me this way.

Perl is write-only code. Larry Wall raised a monkey’s paw and asked for a language that works the way programmers want. So most Perl is the first thing someone tried, unfiltered by rigid syntax putting your thoughts in order, compiler warnings bringing side effects to mind, or even names forcing you to decide what a variable is. An uncommented Perl script is raw brain patterns displayed as ASCII.

Thank god it runs like crap. We’d be in so much trouble if it was fast. Optimized C isn’t exactly gorgeous, but any project that compiles proves someone looked at the code more than once.

None of us is as dumb as all of us.