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Yes, JS is equally terrible! At least we can agree on that :-P
And I also understand that PHP (just like most technologies) can be very efficient to work with if you are used to it and know it very well.
Well, if it comes to web development (my main focus since the last decade at least) I think it’s fair to say there is little that nears PHP (or, begrudgingly, JavaScript)in functionality. With current frameworks (my own included) I can churn out highly complicated and fast sites in no time. Can’t say that for many other languages.
Java? “Fast”? Lol no. “No time”? Lolol no.
Python? Honestly I have too little experience with it to say, but at least frameworkoptions are much more limited anyway