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Also:
I don’t think your second point is correct. You can still embed analytics on a static website. I believe you’re conflating it with your first point by assuming that scripts are disabled on the browser side, in which case it’s a bit of a redundant point.
I also think it’s a bit unrealistic in this day and age to run with scripts completely disabled. I know it sucks, but we need better ways of protecting our privacy and disabling all scripts is a bit of an extreme measure given so much of the modern web relies on it.
I think it’s impossible if you want for things to work. JavaScript is so ubiquitous it’s been baked into the browser since 1995.