Hello, I would like to hear your opinions about a good selfhosted messenger like discord.

To list exactly what I mean by that is:

  • No need for federation ( only will be used by friends )
  • E2EE
  • Support for direct messages
  • Support for discord like server management by which I mean the ability to set rooms and topics for such rooms.

From what I know, this seems to be more similar to slack alternative’s but wanted to hear opinions of others.

I have been thinking about either matrix, mattermost, rocket.chat or revolt chat.

I already have a XMPP server, but setting up encryption and client’s has turned away quite a few people I would like to get onto this platform.

EDIT: As pointed by other people E2EE isn’t needed for my usecase if no federation.

poVoq
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06M

Uhm, honestly that’s a you issue if your own friends and family don’t trust you even that much.

lemmyvore
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26M

You keep missing the point. When you have access to everything you can inadvertently be exposed to something you don’t need to see. I don’t want to get a notification from the backup system saying “folder /syncthing/dad/Furry Porn changed while we were reading it” and then have to go gouge my eyes out. This is the kind of thing that can happen when you ask someone to entrust you with ALL their most private stuff. Everybody has secrets and stuff they need to stay private.

So instead of asking “am I trustworthy” you need to ask “do I REALLY want to fucking risk stumbling over super private stuff”? Because I can guarantee you will sooner or later.

poVoq
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06M

Sorry, but you are making excuses and you know full well that other online services are not any more secure, but less so. If something like your totally made up example would actually happen then you would need to have a stern talk with your dad about not uploading stuff like that to a remote computer, period.

E2EE is a band aid at best and mostly used to justify using commercial services that are inherently untrustworthy.

lemmyvore
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16M

Online services propose to people that their data is only seen by them and robots. You as self-hoster propose to them that their data can be seen by them and you, a dear friend or relative.

If you think they’re going to prefer risking disclosure of embarrassing stuff to friends or family over faceless robots you are being very naive and have probably led a very happy, sheltered life so far. Which is great, don’t get me wrong, and I hope it goes on for a bit.

poVoq
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26M

Seen by them and any random employee, and in addition actively searched through by robots to sell data to advertisers or insurance etc.

And no, I have not lived a sheltered life, but I am telling you that if your friends and relatives do not trust you to not snoop on their stuff that tells me more about you than it tells me about them. Maybe something you should reflect on instead of finding excuses.

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