Snowflake and DuckDB would be up there doing 10 different talents, then Postgres would just stand there and say “uh huh, I do that too” to thunderous applause!
SQLite would win the swimsuit competition but then struggle with concurrent writes during talent show and get disqualified. The judges would always get its name wrong.
Big query would get caught copying Snowflake and bribing the judges. Presto/Trino would require a full team to get dressed for the costume contest and miss the event.
MySQL wouldn’t win any single event, but would get high scores all around for unknown reasons.
MongoDB would be at the front desk trying to convince the judges to let it enter, and while doing that would accidentally drop a suitcase filled with business and government secrets.
MySQL wouldn’t win any single event, but would get high scores all around for unknown reasons.
There are a lot of companies running XAMP / LAMP stacks, for some reason.
MongoDB would be at the front desk trying to convince the judges to let it enter, and while doing that would accidentally drop a suitcase filled with business and government secrets.
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LIES!!! ALL LIES!!! everyone know that postgres is the TRUE revolutionary sql! lol
I think Postgres could win the MisSql pageant
Snowflake and DuckDB would be up there doing 10 different talents, then Postgres would just stand there and say “uh huh, I do that too” to thunderous applause!
SQLite would win the swimsuit competition but then struggle with concurrent writes during talent show and get disqualified. The judges would always get its name wrong.
Big query would get caught copying Snowflake and bribing the judges. Presto/Trino would require a full team to get dressed for the costume contest and miss the event.
MySQL wouldn’t win any single event, but would get high scores all around for unknown reasons.
MongoDB would be at the front desk trying to convince the judges to let it enter, and while doing that would accidentally drop a suitcase filled with business and government secrets.
Oracle’s PR machine & dark money.
and db2 wouldn’t even be invited to compete. lol
There are a lot of companies running XAMP / LAMP stacks, for some reason.
But haven’t you heard? It’s webscale
Let’s not lie to ourselves now. The winner would probably be a SQLite flat file serialized into a postgres text column.
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Isn’t OurSQL just MariaDB?
Well, MariaDb is a publicly traded company. So it’s “Our SQL” only if you buy stocks in them.
No, that belongs to Maria
I know it’s a meme, but if you didn’t know already MySQL was named after the creator’s daughter My
And MariaDB was named after his second daughter right?
Yes, and another project MaxDB, is named after his son Max.
And MariaDB is named after his other daughter 😉
This would be great news if it would happen, and especially if it brings back allowing the engine to be embedded.
Postgres is better, but embedded Postgres isn’t something that’s going to happen.
MariaDB for the win!