She advocates for prohibiting the use of phones with internet capabilities to those under 16, and states that the best parental control is, precisely, the parents
I am not in agreement with the notion that we should not give children smartphones. I am of the opinion that there comes a time, usually during early adolescence, that a smartphone becomes a safety feature of parenting — namely, the tools it provides for location tracking, and very quick two-way communication. The moment the child is starting to become more autonomous and is going to events with friends, staying at their friends’ houses for sleepovers, going on multi-day field trips, and so forth, is the moment a smartphone becomes an increasingly necessary safety measure.
The first step in dealing with addiction is understanding it and identifying it. The problem is that parents often don’t speak to their children about the dangers, and what it could mean, with concrete examples. And this can be expanded as a general parenting issue across more than just addiction. Open and honest communication is how kids can learn without always resorting to the fuck-around-and-find-out method.
Agreed. We bought my son a phone when he was traveling between states and flying as an unaccompanied minor a bunch because of split parenting. He was about nine. We had strict rules about when he was allowed to use it and when he ABSOLUTELY was not allowed to NOT have it. We also didn’t turn on the data (and made him use Wifi) until he was 12.
We absolutely NEEDED him to have it, given those conditions.
The first step in dealing with addiction is understanding it and identifying it. The problem is that parents often don’t speak to their children about the dangers, and what it could mean, with concrete examples.
The issue of addiction to technology is deeply rooted in the way our brains are structured. This is particularly concerning for children and teenagers, as their brains are not fully developed until around the age of 21. Simply having conversations about the dangers of addiction is not a sufficient solution, especially considering that many adults are also addicted to technology. After all, here we are, possibly spending time online arguing with strangers instead of engaging in more productive activities.
To address this issue, it’s crucial to move away from a black-and-white mindset. Extremes are rarely beneficial. It may be necessary for children to have smartphones for safety and communication purposes, but these devices should come with certain restrictions. For instance, limiting the ability of children to install any app they want or restricting excessive screen time could be effective measures. By implementing these controlled measures, we can provide the necessary safety net while also safeguarding the mental and emotional well-being of younger users.
However, real-world actions should be informed by scientific evidence. Any approach we adopt needs to be backed by data (and not opinions) proving its effectiveness in achieving the desired outcomes.
After all, here we are, possibly spending time online arguing with strangers instead of engaging in more productive activities.
This feels like a false equivalency. Just because I decided to engage in this post has no bearing on any addiction patterns of mine or the validity of such an activity.
but these devices should come with certain restrictions. For instance, limiting the ability of children to install any app they want or restricting excessive screen time could be effective measures. By implementing these controlled measures, we can provide the necessary safety net while also safeguarding the mental and emotional well-being of younger users.
They do. I used exactly those features on my child’s. If parents choose not to employ them and become educated on the capabilities of the devices, not much else can be done. But this is a broad issue that extends well beyond smartphones.
However, real-world actions should be informed by scientific evidence. Any approach we adopt needs to be backed by data (and not opinions) proving its effectiveness in achieving the desired outcomes.
I agree completely. But ultimately the parents have to know what they are doing and how their knowledge and actions will affect their children. It seems just as disingenuous to blanket smartphones as the problem when it really boils down to parents, education, and understanding the maturity level of their own child.
Another argument to give your tween a smartphone is that they need to learn how to use it, to develop a healthy relationship with it, to understand the pros/cons, to understand how to use it effectively. Abstinence will just make them envious and less likely to think through the consequences.
Unfortunately, it’s not like that.
The current state of internet services and social media is inherently addictive and problematic, and that’s especially true in formative years.
While education is extremely important, it won’t be enough.
My opinion and anecdotal experience is that, yes, it is like that. It’s the same argument concerning sex education. It’s the same argument for almost all child rearing topics. It starts with open and honest communication as early as possible and not sheltering the children from reality. Preparing the child is all we can do as parents. Hiding them from the realities of their surroundings by denying them aspects of it simply makes them want more and they will go to lengths to get it — even so far as to steal, or lie. While I’m not saying give a 3 year old their own device, I am saying that there comes a time in the maturation of the child where it can be a useful tool for both the parents and the child. You teach a child to use a knife, and the dangers of mishandling it, before you let them have one. I’m also not saying all my examples are apples to apples, but the education of using potentially dangerous things is a concept that pervades all child rearing and it’s unrealistic, and I would say possibly does more harm, to keep them from it during their whole childhood.
But I’m not here to convince you or anyone. I simply voiced my viewpoint.
I don’t really have a formed opinion on this subject. (Though I have some experience with certain things where holding back in childhood has lead to potentially much bigger addictions)
But I can tell you that my uncle bought smartwatches to his children. The watches are only allowed to call family members & have GPS tracking on them, have no games, no Youtube no distractions. They are exactly what you are describing, a safety feature. (though the kids regularly dualwear them to cover for each other, so … :D )
I’m not really in favor of the GPS tracking thing. It feels to protective and a bit overbearing to me.
I mean I wouldn’t think of location tracking my significant other and I would hate it if someone was location tracking me. So why do that to your children?
Depends on the person. Some couples location track each other with consent, I would be fine with that too.
As for children I think it’s alright if it’s not used as a leash to question why they aren’t home yet studying and such. Helicopter parents can abuse this causing further harm, but for normal parents it shouldn’t be too bad, or I don’t know.
Point taken. I agree that specific product would solve the safety feature aspect while avoiding the addiction possibility. I suppose it then comes down to when a parent feels their child is ready and cognizant of the dangers of addiction.
parent feels their child is ready and cognizant of the dangers of addiction.
Yes, I think so.
In 5-10 years science will have caught up & parents could possibly be able to make more informed decisions in this regard & until then it’s basically up to luck.
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I am not in agreement with the notion that we should not give children smartphones. I am of the opinion that there comes a time, usually during early adolescence, that a smartphone becomes a safety feature of parenting — namely, the tools it provides for location tracking, and very quick two-way communication. The moment the child is starting to become more autonomous and is going to events with friends, staying at their friends’ houses for sleepovers, going on multi-day field trips, and so forth, is the moment a smartphone becomes an increasingly necessary safety measure.
The first step in dealing with addiction is understanding it and identifying it. The problem is that parents often don’t speak to their children about the dangers, and what it could mean, with concrete examples. And this can be expanded as a general parenting issue across more than just addiction. Open and honest communication is how kids can learn without always resorting to the fuck-around-and-find-out method.
Agreed. We bought my son a phone when he was traveling between states and flying as an unaccompanied minor a bunch because of split parenting. He was about nine. We had strict rules about when he was allowed to use it and when he ABSOLUTELY was not allowed to NOT have it. We also didn’t turn on the data (and made him use Wifi) until he was 12.
We absolutely NEEDED him to have it, given those conditions.
The issue of addiction to technology is deeply rooted in the way our brains are structured. This is particularly concerning for children and teenagers, as their brains are not fully developed until around the age of 21. Simply having conversations about the dangers of addiction is not a sufficient solution, especially considering that many adults are also addicted to technology. After all, here we are, possibly spending time online arguing with strangers instead of engaging in more productive activities.
To address this issue, it’s crucial to move away from a black-and-white mindset. Extremes are rarely beneficial. It may be necessary for children to have smartphones for safety and communication purposes, but these devices should come with certain restrictions. For instance, limiting the ability of children to install any app they want or restricting excessive screen time could be effective measures. By implementing these controlled measures, we can provide the necessary safety net while also safeguarding the mental and emotional well-being of younger users.
However, real-world actions should be informed by scientific evidence. Any approach we adopt needs to be backed by data (and not opinions) proving its effectiveness in achieving the desired outcomes.
This feels like a false equivalency. Just because I decided to engage in this post has no bearing on any addiction patterns of mine or the validity of such an activity.
They do. I used exactly those features on my child’s. If parents choose not to employ them and become educated on the capabilities of the devices, not much else can be done. But this is a broad issue that extends well beyond smartphones.
I agree completely. But ultimately the parents have to know what they are doing and how their knowledge and actions will affect their children. It seems just as disingenuous to blanket smartphones as the problem when it really boils down to parents, education, and understanding the maturity level of their own child.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Another argument to give your tween a smartphone is that they need to learn how to use it, to develop a healthy relationship with it, to understand the pros/cons, to understand how to use it effectively. Abstinence will just make them envious and less likely to think through the consequences.
Another argument for buying your teenager cigarettes…
These are very poor arguments for smoking cigarettes, but sure…
Unfortunately, it’s not like that. The current state of internet services and social media is inherently addictive and problematic, and that’s especially true in formative years.
While education is extremely important, it won’t be enough.
My opinion and anecdotal experience is that, yes, it is like that. It’s the same argument concerning sex education. It’s the same argument for almost all child rearing topics. It starts with open and honest communication as early as possible and not sheltering the children from reality. Preparing the child is all we can do as parents. Hiding them from the realities of their surroundings by denying them aspects of it simply makes them want more and they will go to lengths to get it — even so far as to steal, or lie. While I’m not saying give a 3 year old their own device, I am saying that there comes a time in the maturation of the child where it can be a useful tool for both the parents and the child. You teach a child to use a knife, and the dangers of mishandling it, before you let them have one. I’m also not saying all my examples are apples to apples, but the education of using potentially dangerous things is a concept that pervades all child rearing and it’s unrealistic, and I would say possibly does more harm, to keep them from it during their whole childhood.
But I’m not here to convince you or anyone. I simply voiced my viewpoint.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk :)
Happy New Year!!
Use parental controls.
It’s not that hard to give them the access you need them to have while completely removing anything you don’t want them to have.
I don’t really have a formed opinion on this subject. (Though I have some experience with certain things where holding back in childhood has lead to potentially much bigger addictions)
But I can tell you that my uncle bought smartwatches to his children. The watches are only allowed to call family members & have GPS tracking on them, have no games, no Youtube no distractions. They are exactly what you are describing, a safety feature. (though the kids regularly dualwear them to cover for each other, so … :D )
I’m not really in favor of the GPS tracking thing. It feels to protective and a bit overbearing to me.
I mean I wouldn’t think of location tracking my significant other and I would hate it if someone was location tracking me. So why do that to your children?
Depends on the person. Some couples location track each other with consent, I would be fine with that too.
As for children I think it’s alright if it’s not used as a leash to question why they aren’t home yet studying and such. Helicopter parents can abuse this causing further harm, but for normal parents it shouldn’t be too bad, or I don’t know.
Point taken. I agree that specific product would solve the safety feature aspect while avoiding the addiction possibility. I suppose it then comes down to when a parent feels their child is ready and cognizant of the dangers of addiction.
Yes, I think so. In 5-10 years science will have caught up & parents could possibly be able to make more informed decisions in this regard & until then it’s basically up to luck.