Explaining something to someone? Zoom out. Back up. What if that person were an alien, how much more context would you need to explain?
The curse of knowledge is a cognitive bias that occurs when an individual, who is communicating with others, assumes that others have information that is only available to themselves, assuming they all share a background and understanding. This bias is also called by some authors the curse of expertise.
One of the things I look for in employees is the ability to distill complex topics into the important elements and explain it to someone unfamiliar. Some people are just naturally good at it, and it’s a really important skill for moving up a leadership chain.
I know for men who are equal opportunity overexplainers it can still be seen as “mansplaining” when overexplaining to women.
But in general, if your tone of voice is right and it’s still happening, perhaps communicating your intention and a safeguard would work, at least sometimes?
May I try to explain this? If I start too basic, and overexplain so it feels condescending, please stop me so I can dig into it more technically.
I’m always worried about inadvertently doing this, so I’ve been trying to make a conscious effort to ask people if they need more context rather than assuming they do or don’t. It’s actually a good approach I think. Although it does depend on whether the person you’re talking to is likely to just say “oh yeah, I know what that is” when they really don’t
Seems like you have your best shot if you make it seem like a lack of knowledge on a given topic is really safe. “Is this something you’ve nerded out on before, or not yet? Oh you have - cool, it’s pretty esoteric. Do you know enough to summarize it in a sentence or a few? If not I like to try to give my own high level before diving in.”
Something open ended in there gives you a chance to validate whether the ‘I know what that is’ was ego or truth.
That’s the ticket, IMO. I start off assuming they know, then pause to ask “are you familiar with x concept?”
If they say yes and they really mean no, there’s really not a lot I can do. But it seems to make people feel at ease when talking to me - I don’t get called out for over explaining or infantalizing people this way.
I’ve had to train literally hundreds of people over the various jobs I’ve had and it causes me to over explain in almost every conversation.
I got two tricks to figure out how much someone knows about a topic and encourage them to ask questions rather than lie just to avoid being a little uncomfortable.
First, I look for them to use vocabulary that I haven’t already mentioned or if they seem to understand something just by using a couple words.
Second, I ask them to explain something early in the conversation to make it easier to ask if they don’t understand something later. It’s usually really simple, but it really does work to lower communication barriers.
I like to think it makes us feel more like equals trading expertise, rather than like I’m some authority talking down to them.
If there’s any chance they’ve heard about a concept, I’ll ask if they’ve heard of it and take them at their word (without comment either way).
And if they’re kinda nodding impatiently, I’ll wrap up the explanation and move on to the deeper level
At first, people will sometimes be defensive or lie about knowing a topic, but after you establish there’s no judgement either way with you I’ve found people become less hesitant about admitting ignorance and will even want to hear your explanation of something to check their knowledge
I also do the flip side - I pride myself on admitting when I don’t know something, so that might play in too
Me talking to my dad (who last held the position of professional programmer 30 years ago) about the programming problem I’m working on and vastly overestimating how much he knows about modern software development parlance
My friend really needs to learn about this. He works for Intel and does some really involved stuff, I on the other hand am a moronic jackass factory worker.
No friend, I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re trying to tell me you did if you keep using technical terms.
Problem is, even if they are capable of explaining it, it’s basically our job to learn things 8 hours a day. Trying to catch someone up on that, who doesn’t have that same job, that’s nearly impossible. Well, and you still want to rant/tell about your day for social interaction purposes.
Like, my mum would also sometimes ask what my (programmer) workday was like and I’d start telling that we had to deploy onto a really old Linux system. Wait hang on, Linux is an operating system. And an operating system is the software that makes computers go. Do you know what “software” is? Hmm, it’s like…
…And yeah, basically one computer science lecture later, I still haven’t told anything about my workday.
Sometimes, I can try to leave out such words, like “we had to roll out our software onto a really old computer”, but then I can practically only say “that was really annoying”. To actually explain how I slayed the beast, I do need to explain the scene.
basically one computer science lecture later, I still haven’t told anything about my workday.
ahaha
I can try to leave out such words, like “we had to roll out our software onto a really old computer”, but then I can practically only say “that was really annoying”.
Tough. Try my best with analogies, tailored if possible, but still tough.
“We had to try to translate our app into a language this ancient computer could understand. It was as easy as suddenly switching to Shakespearean English halfway through this conversation. Or like if you drove your car to a mechanic who’d been cryogenically frozen for the last hundred years. He doth protest much, methinks.
Overall, it was like putting together a thousand-piece puzzle, except the box came with a million pieces and most of them were useless!”
Good thing your mom was surely impressed with you all the same 😉
Since there’s no way to fix the incorrect assumptions (a t-shirt proclaiming “I explain granularly to men too!!”?), best bet is probably to get ahead of the assumption with a disclaimer & offer to be receptive to feedback.
Someone could still be upset I guess but can’t please everyone!
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One of the most useful concepts ever:
the Curse of Knowledge.
Explaining something to someone? Zoom out. Back up. What if that person were an alien, how much more context would you need to explain?
One of the things I look for in employees is the ability to distill complex topics into the important elements and explain it to someone unfamiliar. Some people are just naturally good at it, and it’s a really important skill for moving up a leadership chain.
what’s it called when you try to be aware of this and inadvertently say stuff that comes off as condescending, umm, asking for a friend
ooooof
I know for men who are equal opportunity overexplainers it can still be seen as “mansplaining” when overexplaining to women.
But in general, if your tone of voice is right and it’s still happening, perhaps communicating your intention and a safeguard would work, at least sometimes?
I’m always worried about inadvertently doing this, so I’ve been trying to make a conscious effort to ask people if they need more context rather than assuming they do or don’t. It’s actually a good approach I think. Although it does depend on whether the person you’re talking to is likely to just say “oh yeah, I know what that is” when they really don’t
Yeah that’s good stuff!
Seems like you have your best shot if you make it seem like a lack of knowledge on a given topic is really safe. “Is this something you’ve nerded out on before, or not yet? Oh you have - cool, it’s pretty esoteric. Do you know enough to summarize it in a sentence or a few? If not I like to try to give my own high level before diving in.”
Something open ended in there gives you a chance to validate whether the ‘I know what that is’ was ego or truth.
That’s the ticket, IMO. I start off assuming they know, then pause to ask “are you familiar with x concept?”
If they say yes and they really mean no, there’s really not a lot I can do. But it seems to make people feel at ease when talking to me - I don’t get called out for over explaining or infantalizing people this way.
I’ve had to train literally hundreds of people over the various jobs I’ve had and it causes me to over explain in almost every conversation.
I got two tricks to figure out how much someone knows about a topic and encourage them to ask questions rather than lie just to avoid being a little uncomfortable.
First, I look for them to use vocabulary that I haven’t already mentioned or if they seem to understand something just by using a couple words.
Second, I ask them to explain something early in the conversation to make it easier to ask if they don’t understand something later. It’s usually really simple, but it really does work to lower communication barriers.
I like to think it makes us feel more like equals trading expertise, rather than like I’m some authority talking down to them.
I hope this helps anyone
If there’s any chance they’ve heard about a concept, I’ll ask if they’ve heard of it and take them at their word (without comment either way).
And if they’re kinda nodding impatiently, I’ll wrap up the explanation and move on to the deeper level
At first, people will sometimes be defensive or lie about knowing a topic, but after you establish there’s no judgement either way with you I’ve found people become less hesitant about admitting ignorance and will even want to hear your explanation of something to check their knowledge
I also do the flip side - I pride myself on admitting when I don’t know something, so that might play in too
Me talking to my dad (who last held the position of professional programmer 30 years ago) about the programming problem I’m working on and vastly overestimating how much he knows about modern software development parlance
My friend really needs to learn about this. He works for Intel and does some really involved stuff, I on the other hand am a moronic jackass factory worker.
No friend, I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re trying to tell me you did if you keep using technical terms.
If you said something like “if I were a marketing intern…” or “if I were a college freshman majoring in English, how would you explain it?”
…would he not know how to clearly communicate still? :)
Maybe get him with the “is this a curse of knowledge situation?” (along with a link to Wikipedia) heh
Problem is, even if they are capable of explaining it, it’s basically our job to learn things 8 hours a day. Trying to catch someone up on that, who doesn’t have that same job, that’s nearly impossible. Well, and you still want to rant/tell about your day for social interaction purposes.
Like, my mum would also sometimes ask what my (programmer) workday was like and I’d start telling that we had to deploy onto a really old Linux system. Wait hang on, Linux is an operating system. And an operating system is the software that makes computers go. Do you know what “software” is? Hmm, it’s like…
…And yeah, basically one computer science lecture later, I still haven’t told anything about my workday.
Sometimes, I can try to leave out such words, like “we had to roll out our software onto a really old computer”, but then I can practically only say “that was really annoying”. To actually explain how I slayed the beast, I do need to explain the scene.
ahaha
Tough. Try my best with analogies, tailored if possible, but still tough.
“We had to try to translate our app into a language this ancient computer could understand. It was as easy as suddenly switching to Shakespearean English halfway through this conversation. Or like if you drove your car to a mechanic who’d been cryogenically frozen for the last hundred years. He doth protest much, methinks.
Overall, it was like putting together a thousand-piece puzzle, except the box came with a million pieces and most of them were useless!”
Good thing your mom was surely impressed with you all the same 😉
deleted by creator
But then you’re Mansplaining.
Even if we have the Patriarchy app4oved mind scanning kits out instructions are to not use them so…I’d hate to accidentally not Mansplain something.
Frustrating!!
Since there’s no way to fix the incorrect assumptions (a t-shirt proclaiming “I explain granularly to men too!!”?), best bet is probably to get ahead of the assumption with a disclaimer & offer to be receptive to feedback.
Someone could still be upset I guess but can’t please everyone!
Discussed a bit below.