I recently reached a few high points in my career that coincided, not coincidentally, with some of the worst harassment of my life. It made me reflect on how my career has been defined as much in terms of misogyny as technical excellence (I’ve garnered quite a CV in both), and how I have struggled t

The most likely scenario is that the person with first-hand knowledge misinterpreted the situation.

Exactly. Which is why I started with questions so you could explain more. That’s how a conversation works and prevents it from getting toxic.

These poor men and their sensitive feelings…

Case and point.

Oh, uh. I’m wondering if I laid the irony down too thick. I think the comment you originally replied to is probably correct. I think your questions are typical escape hatches for men to be blameless in any situation. I can imagine you didn’t mean them that way, but that’s what’s usually meant by them.

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