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Cake day: Sep 11, 2023

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And then managers go “why does shadow IT exist?”



Yep, being familiar with the data model is 98% of the effort.

The remaining 2% is the query


I disagree unless the tests are reasonably high level.

Half the time the thing you’re testing is so poorly defined that the only way to tighten that definition is to iterate.

In this sense, you’re wasting time writing tests until you’ve iterated enough to have something worth testing.

At that point, a couple of regression tests offer the biggest bang for buck so you can sanity check things are still working when you move on to another function and forget all about this one


Wow, and here I was trying to set breakpoints using the devtools debugger and faffing around with sourcemaps.

Wish I knew about this 10 years ago!


Well, as far as I’m concerned Skype for Business set the benchmark for terrible. Teams isn’t even close to being that level of bad


Teams is relative.

At a previous job (Microsoft shop but in the public sector so 10 years behind), the standard messenger when I started was Skype for Business.

In case you’ve never used Skype for Business, it’s “Skype” in branding only and actually has nothing to do with the Skype software that Microsoft purchased and is more like MSN Messenger.

Compared to that, Teams is a huge step up.

Also, at a Microsoft shop, you have to use what Microsoft provides even though it’s usually balls.

It’s 90% of the reason I now refuse to work anywhere that’s bought into the Microsoft ecosystem. It’s just so… mediocre


A good project manager also returns 403 forbidden to middle managers trying to scope increase projects or poach project members



Don’t avoid JVMs for “security” reasons, the security industry will raise CVE’s against anything they think will look good on their CV.

Avoid JVM’s because they are synonymous with overengineered, bloated, overly verbose code with crazy memory requirements for what they deliver



Refer to the meme - “Linux users and other Linux users”

I use Arch btw


No way, Debian stable is completely useless as a distro unless you’re in to time machines and like the feeling of being stuck 5 years behind the curve




No. Markup languages are configuration for an interpreter.

inb4 code is configuration for a compiler and binary is configuration for a processor



Err, no? At what point did I claim to be an expert?

It doesn’t take a genius to realise that serving 100-record chunks of a billion record dataset using limit 100 offset 582760200 is never gonna perform well

Or that converting indexed time columns to strings and doing string comparisons on them makes every query perform an entire table scan, which is obvious if you actually take the time to look at the query plan (spoiler: they don’t)

“Why can’t the system handle more than 2 queries per second? This database sucks”


Devs who don’t understand how SQL or relational databases work write absolute abortions of queries.

9 times out of 10 - yes it is absolutely the devs. I say that as the dev who gets tasked with analysing why these shitty queries from our low budget outsourced labour are so slow


What are text files if not binary blobs on disk?

What is SQL if not a query layer over a bunch of binary blobs on disk?


Why is it that security guys always think their issues are more important than any other issues?

Like well done you, you ran an automated tool over the codebase and it picked up some outdated dependencies.

We cant just update these dependencies because the newer versions have breaking changes and we already have a backlog of 32767 issues to deal with.

It’s not security debt, it’s just general technical debt.

Why is the issue that is only exploitable in a contorted scenario where the user has broken out of a VM and gained root on the hypervisor more important than the issue preventing our largest customer from tripling their volume on our platform?

Not to mention the joke that’s been made of the CVE system due to resume padding by the security industry…


SELinux is one of the first things I disable. It causes way more problems than it solves.

All my workloads are containerised so I’ll trust the security of that machinery to sandbox them instead


Do it enough times and it stops being scary.

Using a tool like VSCode to perform the actual merges on individual files also helps because it shows what “yours” and “theirs” changes are from a user perspective, not a git perspective



Just think of it as a routing optimisation that is only relevant for ipv4 networks.

Router simple, router need to make decisions quick, quickest decision is made when can smush the subnet mask against an IP address and determine if the computer is on a local network so router can send traffic direct or is on other network so router needs to send traffic to other router


Ive spent the last 15 years coding professionally. I now think like a computer.


First thing to do if you need a functioning server

Unless you’re a security guy and get off on people not being able to do their jobs due to Access Denied