It was to talk about “team restructuring”

Randomly got a message from one of my reports asking what this “Mandatory Team Meeting” was on his calendar. I hadn’t been invited, but it was our whole company shutting down ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Hilarious that one of your reports got invited to the company shutting down meeting but you didn’t, F

¯\(ツ)/¯\ you dropped this

Oof, how did it end up going?

The company shut down.

guyrocket
link
fedilink
321Y

But the company’s not supposed to shut down.

Anony Moose
link
fedilink
English
271Y

Is that not typical?

Chance in a million

-spam-
link
fedilink
181Y

That’s not very typical, I’d like to make that point.

Nougat
link
fedilink
341Y

Of course it’s not typical! Ordinarily, companies don’t just shut down. I want to make very clear that this is not the normal state of affairs!

SkaveRat
link
fedilink
171Y

So what’s the minimal employee requirements for a company?

Well, one, I suppose.

Nougat
link
fedilink
221Y

Oh, I suppose … one?

One employee?

To shreds you say? How are the investors holding up?

To shreds, you say?

The front fell off.

@CaptKoala@lemmy.ml
link
fedilink
English
81Y

The front fell off?

Yeah that’s not very typical, I’d like to make that point.

(The idea’s that the company tanked, just like this tanker did.)

@CaptKoala@lemmy.ml
link
fedilink
English
11Y

Still one of the greatest pieces of cinematics ever produced, and I’ll die on this hill.

English Mobster
link
fedilink
English
130
edit-2
1Y

Hey, that happened to me, too!

I got scheduled for a mandatory meeting with 1 hour notice. During lunch.

I asked my boss what it was. He didn’t know either. I joked that it was us being shut down.

Sure enough, 1 hour later we were both writing LinkedIn recommendations and helping each other find jobs after it was announced that our whole studio was being shut down by corporate and myself plus all my coworkers were all now jobless.

I at least had the cathartic experience of being told “hey we need to shut down EVERYTHING before 7pm because that’s when the email will turn off, so log into every service you know we use and delete it all.” And then I spent the next couple hours clicking every delete button I could.

K8s clusters? Delete. Prod DB? Delete. Prod DB backups? Delete. S3 buckets? Delete. Cloudflare account? Delete.

It was actually kinda fun.

This sounds therapeautic

A former coworker of mine once learned that his company was shutting down because the office was raided by FBI agents who seized all the computers, servers and company documents. Everybody sat around in the empty office for a little while and then went home, and nobody ever got paid or heard from the company ever again. Even the tax documents at the end of the year didn’t get sent out.

bitwolf
link
fedilink
91Y

What did he have to do without the tax documents?

I don’t know exactly. There’s some process you go through with the IRS to find out what you were paid and how much was withheld in situations like this where the company just goes out of existence suddenly. The IRS has all that info anyway because companies withhold and submit the taxes (at least while they still exist).

Well, they’re supposed to, anyway.

Random team meeting on the first Friday after I got hired. “Telltale has lost it’s funding and everyone is being let go”. Fun week.

mesamune
link
fedilink
15
edit-2
1Y

Bitwise industries did that to us but it was an optional meeting. Like a kick to the gut.

Worst part is they stole our 401ks.

Create a post

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

  • Posts must be relevant to programming, programmers, or computer science.
  • No NSFW content.
  • Jokes must be in good taste. No hate speech, bigotry, etc.
  • 1 user online
  • 41 users / day
  • 161 users / week
  • 434 users / month
  • 2.41K users / 6 months
  • 1 subscriber
  • 1.61K Posts
  • 35.6K Comments
  • Modlog