For some reason I’m picturing the elves as white trash sovereign citizen types refusing to pay their taxes.
As they fade away… “The flag of Gondor doesn’t have a gold fringe on it and you didn’t write my name in all capitals at a 45 degree angle in red ink therefore this court doesn’t have the authority to…” poof!
The world is changed: I feel it in the water, I feel it in the earth, I smell it in the air… Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it. Thusly the government of Gondor shall not excise a tax upon my pouch of gold for their statutes shall not apply to my person henceforth.
I had a customer who wanted me to stay on as a consultant to keep their system running. He was a scumbag so I added a test to see if I had logged on in the last 60 days. If not it threw a random error code. It triggered three times before I told him that I wanted a lump sum payment and I would fix it for good and then we were done and I wanted the cheque drawn on his personal account. His controller was an even bigger scumbag than he was. He gave me the cheque and asked me what was wrong. I explained and he laughed because he was a multi-millionaire car dealer and I was a late teens computer kid and I got the better of him.
Not that I know of. In the end you are editing the browser rendering parameters. Anyone can inspect the page and see that the opacity on the page is being turned down. Finding where it is happening is the only thing you can really make hard. Have a couple of the pass through scripts be machine generated and you can have it use nonsensical variable names and a bunch of dummies that lead on wild goose chases. It could all be fixable, but you can make it a pain in the ass. Add a redundancy or two and it will make debugging a nightmare because even if one is fixed, the others will make it look as though it has not.
The real answer is to have NEVER do freelance web development inside the client’s firewall. Never. If they try to require it, walk away. If it is inside their firewall then they can just take the source code and stiff you. If they try to spout some BS about security, say that is precisely what you are concerned about and point blank ask them what safeguards they are willing to allow you to put in place for developing in their system. If the answer is none, walk. If they are willing to let you VPN in, run the code from a local copy over the VPN and node lock it so if someone attempts to serve it from another machine it fails.
Apologies. I’m tired and hate businesses taking advantage of “Independent Contractors”.
The fade should be slow and subtle. At first the client thinks they are just imagining it, but then they start getting customer support calls about the site being faded, and their bosses are pointing it out too in meetings, and as it happens more and more the panic really begins to set in.
Finally they reach out to you in a desperation when there’s barely anything left of the site and ask you to urgently fix the problem, and you just shrug your shoulders sympathetically and explain it’s happening because they haven’t paid - but not like in a way that suggests you are doing it on purpose, but a way where it’s simply an unavoidable natural consequence, like if you didn’t pay your electricity bill your power would get cut and the site is slowly “dying” and fading away because of that.
For added theatrics, after they pay you can slowly fade the site back in over a few days too, as if websites need bill money the same way humans need food, and it is slowly getting better after “being starved”
You don’t say that, you say they are on credit hold and you won’t do any more work until your past work is paid for, after they pay you say credit has been rescinded and they have to prepay for any more work to be done.
You delete each set of letter from least significant to most significant with $ replacing each letter and the title tag saying where’s my money. If all letters disappear swap the entire website with space jam website and this gif.
Because this repo is going viral from time to time to developers, I’m open for discussion if you want to promote a product/service in this README file. Just mail me at XXXX
How is it gatekeeping to say “you used it wrong“? If you put your car in reverse when you want to drive forward and I correct you, am I gatekeeping driving?
Saying “this is incorrect” when there is a clear right/wrong usage is not gatekeeping
You automate that shit, you never give them direct access to the source code, and you obfuscate the code that changes the opacity so that it’s really hard to find even if they manage to wrest control away from you. I did this once after the client failed to pay as agreed. They narrowly escaped their site being replaced with a message saying they did not pay their bill, by paying eventually, but I couldn’t let them get away with that shit if they decided to change passwords and tried to screw me completely.
Loved that video back when I was contracting. I paid a lawyer to draft up a standard contract and that was the best thing I ever did. Great value for the $$s. Saved my butt a couple of times.
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this is what Elon is doing to himself with X, by the signal to noise ratio.
Which he obliquely said he was going to do, before he bought it.
By slowly killing it, room is made for multiple other platforms to grow.
The elves did not pay their license to exist in Middle-Earth. And so their opacity decreased until their bodies completely fade away.
For some reason I’m picturing the elves as white trash sovereign citizen types refusing to pay their taxes.
As they fade away… “The flag of Gondor doesn’t have a gold fringe on it and you didn’t write my name in all capitals at a 45 degree angle in red ink therefore this court doesn’t have the authority to…” poof!
Except that they’ll put it in more… eloquent language. 😅
The world is changed: I feel it in the water, I feel it in the earth, I smell it in the air… Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it. Thusly the government of Gondor shall not excise a tax upon my pouch of gold for their statutes shall not apply to my person henceforth.
Until we meet again, Ilmen-mariner
How to deal with a social media client that has not paid?.. Suggestions please!
Delete all work you did, commit, push, delete old commits from remote repo? File an IP lawsuit?
I had a customer who wanted me to stay on as a consultant to keep their system running. He was a scumbag so I added a test to see if I had logged on in the last 60 days. If not it threw a random error code. It triggered three times before I told him that I wanted a lump sum payment and I would fix it for good and then we were done and I wanted the cheque drawn on his personal account. His controller was an even bigger scumbag than he was. He gave me the cheque and asked me what was wrong. I explained and he laughed because he was a multi-millionaire car dealer and I was a late teens computer kid and I got the better of him.
738 forks
Bury it six JavaScript and 2 php scripts deep so it is a pain in the ass to find.
Nice idea, is there a way to make it invisible ?
Not that I know of. In the end you are editing the browser rendering parameters. Anyone can inspect the page and see that the opacity on the page is being turned down. Finding where it is happening is the only thing you can really make hard. Have a couple of the pass through scripts be machine generated and you can have it use nonsensical variable names and a bunch of dummies that lead on wild goose chases. It could all be fixable, but you can make it a pain in the ass. Add a redundancy or two and it will make debugging a nightmare because even if one is fixed, the others will make it look as though it has not.
The real answer is to have NEVER do freelance web development inside the client’s firewall. Never. If they try to require it, walk away. If it is inside their firewall then they can just take the source code and stiff you. If they try to spout some BS about security, say that is precisely what you are concerned about and point blank ask them what safeguards they are willing to allow you to put in place for developing in their system. If the answer is none, walk. If they are willing to let you VPN in, run the code from a local copy over the VPN and node lock it so if someone attempts to serve it from another machine it fails.
Apologies. I’m tired and hate businesses taking advantage of “Independent Contractors”.
Far easier, Far better to just get payment up front.
You obfuscate your code with random dead ends and weird variable names.
I obfuscate my code just by writing normally because I haven’t learned how to write properly.
straightens tie
We are not the same
Set opacity to 100%
The fade should be slow and subtle. At first the client thinks they are just imagining it, but then they start getting customer support calls about the site being faded, and their bosses are pointing it out too in meetings, and as it happens more and more the panic really begins to set in.
Finally they reach out to you in a desperation when there’s barely anything left of the site and ask you to urgently fix the problem, and you just shrug your shoulders sympathetically and explain it’s happening because they haven’t paid - but not like in a way that suggests you are doing it on purpose, but a way where it’s simply an unavoidable natural consequence, like if you didn’t pay your electricity bill your power would get cut and the site is slowly “dying” and fading away because of that.
They’d pay so fast.
Send them a bill for “website toner”
I mean does it matter if you’re frank and say "its happening because you didn’t pay? Its not like they can go to the cops or something
Depends on what you sold, it might be funny fraud
Can it be considered sold if it hasn’t been paid?
This is only useful if it’s a kind of subscription model, right? Otherwise, you sell the thing and fuck off, never to be seen and maintain it.
Especially if you randomize the fade within a given range over time.
Make it fade out after 5pm friday and fade back in on monday at 9am.
Charge them extra for working outside of business hours
For added theatrics, after they pay you can slowly fade the site back in over a few days too, as if websites need bill money the same way humans need food, and it is slowly getting better after “being starved”
I like the way you think.
Make the fade only apply 25% (or maybe a percentage range) of the time at first, slowly increase how often and how intense the opacity is. lol
Or, make it fade more and more for each “unique” visitor. Make sure it hits after they start their marketing campaign.
What the duck did I do.
You don’t say that, you say they are on credit hold and you won’t do any more work until your past work is paid for, after they pay you say credit has been rescinded and they have to prepay for any more work to be done.
You delete each set of letter from least significant to most significant with $ replacing each letter and the title tag saying where’s my money. If all letters disappear swap the entire website with space jam website and this gif.
Brilliant!
Github Link
Ew.
Probably a joke
Looks like letsdeel took him up on the offer though, its even in the source code
deleted by creator
Why not just iframe meat spin like the good old days?
deleted by creator
Sadly i forgot, can you refresh my memory about that story?
Just Google meatspin - it’ll be easier that way than explaining it here I think. One of those things you just have to see to understand.
Dude… This is Rickrolling on the nightmare level.
Those who don’t remember: NSFW to google that.
If that’s nightmare, what’s lemon party rank?
Back in the day, lemon party was my girlfriends first encounter with online nudity.
I guess ignorance is bliss now?
It really is more of a visual medium. A picture is worth a thousand words after all!
Gay porn
You would throw it on your mate’s computer if they left the room for a moment
Like Marty McFly.
Like the idea, but this isn’t remotely how this meme is used lol
how do glasses use dog?
Oh my word - its still alive?
That which is dead can never die
NO NO N
N NO NO Nᴑ
FUCK YOU LMFAO I LOVE THAT
Are we gate-keeping meme usage now?
How is it gatekeeping to say “you used it wrong“? If you put your car in reverse when you want to drive forward and I correct you, am I gatekeeping driving?
Saying “this is incorrect” when there is a clear right/wrong usage is not gatekeeping
Are you gatekeeping gatekeeping now?
Are you gatekeeping gatekeeping-gatekeeping now?
Yo dawg I heard you liked gatekeeping so I got you a gate to keep your gatekeepers.
Damn I got got
Get Rick Moranis on the horn!
How dare you gaslight him
When haven’t we been? People will do any weird thing and call it a meme, least we can do it call them on it every now and then
A meme is just any piece of cultural information. Some are gatekept and carefully guarded, others are just kinda around
Yes
What clieny is that
Summit (Play Store)
Mom! Look! Moooom! Moooooom! Look, I am in this! Mooom! You’re not looking! Moooom! Look!
how is it used?
https://amp.knowyourmeme.com/memes/robin-holding-a-whiteboard
Yeah I will forward this to friends but only the textbox
You automate that shit, you never give them direct access to the source code, and you obfuscate the code that changes the opacity so that it’s really hard to find even if they manage to wrest control away from you. I did this once after the client failed to pay as agreed. They narrowly escaped their site being replaced with a message saying they did not pay their bill, by paying eventually, but I couldn’t let them get away with that shit if they decided to change passwords and tried to screw me completely.
33% of payment on project start, 66% of payment on demonstration of final product, 100% payment on hand over.
Worst case you get 66% of your payment. Make sure 66% is enough to make the project profitable.
Clear contracts are also important. Fuck you, pay me.
I like that plan because it ends up paying
200%edit: 199%
Loved that video back when I was contracting. I paid a lawyer to draft up a standard contract and that was the best thing I ever did. Great value for the $$s. Saved my butt a couple of times.
Yes to all this. Mike Monteiro is a hero of mine